Mar 29 2009

ประสบการณ์การขลิบของผม

Category: ประสบการณ์James @ 22:31

ผมคิดมาอยู่นานว่าจะขลิบดีไหม นานขนาด 3 ปีเลยละอยากให้น้องสวยเหมือนในหนังโป้เค้านะครับ ศึกษาผ่านเว็บมานานพอสมควรไปปรึกษามาแล้วด้วยสองสามคน ปรึกษาท่านบิดาขลิบดีไหม ถามท่านปู่ก็แล้วเลยตัดสินใจไปขลิบดีกว่า ขอแน่ๆ เลยไป circum ที่โรงพยาบาล BNH ทำกับหมอเรืองชัย โคตรแพงเลยหมดเกือบ 24,000 บาทนะครับแต่หมอเค้าก็ดีนะครับ เยี่ยมเลยละก็ว่าได้ วันผ่าวันที่ 9มกราคม 2009 ถือวันดีแล้วกันไหนๆจะทำทั้งที นัดบ่ายสอง ใจนี่ตื่นเต้นสุดๆเลยครับ พอเค้าพาเข้าแผนกผ่าตัดเค้าให้เปลี่ยนชุดแก้ผ้าหมดเลยละครับ แล้วให้ใส่ชุดคลุมของโรงพยาบาลเดินไปห้องผ่าตัดโดนจับขึ้นเตียงพยาบาลเค้าเอาผ้ามาห้มตัวให้อุ่นแขนนี่โดนจับล็อกกับเตียงเลยครับ เค้ากลัวว่าคนไข้จะเอาแขนไปโดนหมอเพราะกังวลหรือว่าอะไรก็ตาม แหม..พยาบาลก็น่ารักมาถามว่ามีลูกกี่คนแล้วครับ จะมาทำหมันเอาชิบหายแล้วกู อะไรกันนี่ จะหนีก็ไม่ได้แล้ว บอกไปว่าไม่ใช่ครับ ผมมาทำ circum นะ ผมยังไม่ได้แต่งงานเลย หมอเดินเข้า ผมบอกหมอว่า circum นะครับ ไม่ใช่ทำหมัน ขอย้ำ หมอบอกพยาบาลว่าเธอทำคนไข้ใจเสียเลยเห็นไหมก็แน่ละสิ หัวใจไปอยู่ที่ปลายเท้าเลยละครับ ความดันขึ้น 150เลย แหม..ถามมาได้ ฉันมาขลิบไม่ใช่ทำหมันนะ

เริ่มแรกหมอเค้าทำความสะอาด แล้วทายาชาไม่ได้รู้สึกอะไรแต่หมอเริ่มฉีดยาชาแล้วนี่สิ แม่เจ้าสองเข็มที่ฉีดเข้าที่ตรงกลางน้องกลางนี่เจ็บไปถึงสมองเลยครับเพราะว่าตรงนี้เป็นส่วนที่สัมพันธ์กับเส้นประสาทที่สุดครับ สักพักหมอเค้าเริ่มลงมีดรู้สึกถึงมีดนะแต่ไม่เจ็บ (ดีแล้ว กลัวจะตาย) ที่ห้องผ่าตัดเค้าไม่ได้ผ้ามาปิดตานะแต่เอาฉากผ้ามากันไม่ให้เห็นว่าหมอเค้าทำอะไรกับน้องเราอยู่ ยังไม่เห็นหลอกครับ(ขอเห็นอีกที่พร้อมใช้งานไหมครับ) ผมสามารถดูห้องผ่าตัดได้ตามสบายเลยก็เริ่มคุยกับหมอไป ถามไปเลื่อยครับ ไม่รู้จะทำอะไร ได้แต่รอหมอจัดการไปน่าจะเค้าเพลงมาฟังนะครับ หรือเค้าหนังสือมาอ่านได้ ใครจะไปรู้ละเห็นในเว็บทุกที่เอาผ้าปิดตาหมดนี่ จำไว้นะครับ ถ้าพี่น้องจะขลิบบ้างก็อย่าลืม iPod สุดที่รักนะครับ (ของผมตอนนี้โดนน้องสาวสุดที่รักขโมยไปแล้วละ ดูมัน) การผ่าตัดทั้งหมดใช้26 นาทีเอง ไม่ได้รู้สึกเจ็บตอนผ่านะครับหมดเค้าให้กินยาแก้ปวดไปสองเม็ด แล้วให้นอนพักเดี่ยวหนึ่งครึ่งชั่วโมงเริ่มไม่เป็นอะไรละครับ แต่ยาชาหมดเท่านั้นละครับ โคตรเจ็บแม่เย็ดกว่ายาแก้ปวดจะออกโรงได้ตั้งรอกว่าชั่วโมง เจ็บดิบไปเลย ทานยาเพิ่มไม่ได้เพราะว่ายาจะเกินขนาด กว่าจะดีขึ้นเล่นกันตั้ง 2 ชั่วโมงเลยกว่าจะมีแรงมาขับรถกลับรังสิต บ้านกูทำไมไกลจากโรงบาลอย่างนี้ว้ะถึงบ้านทานข้าวแล้วทานยาแก้ปวดนอนเลยครับ

แล้วตื่นมาดูสากกะเบืออันนี้แข็งตัวตอนเช้า เริ่มลุกเลยครับเพราะว่าเจ็บสิครับ แหม..ถามได้

ช่วงสองสามวันเป็นอย่างนี้ตลอดเลยครับพอได้สามวันไปเจอหมอเพื่อให้เอาผ้าพันเอง แล้วดูอาการครับ หมอบอกว่าแผลสวยมากครับเส้นไหมเริ่มจะหลุดแล้วละครับ หมอบอกว่านี้สามารถอาบน้ำได้แล้วครับให้น้ำวิ่งผ่านไปครับ

ในอาทิตย์แรกน้องจะแข็งเมื่อไร จะพยายามคิดอย่างอื่นแทนปกติชอบให้แข็งมากเลย ตอนนี้ขอไว้ก่อนเถอะ เจ็บครับ จะออกไปไหนจะเอาผ้าก๊อตมาพันไว้เพื่อให้เส้นไหมไม่ขูดไปมาให้เสียวแปลบ

พอวันที่ 9 ผมเลยเอากรรไกรตัดเล็บมาตัดไหมออกให้ได้มากที่สุดแล้วก็ไปเจอหมอ หมอบอกว่าเอาไหมออกเองแล้วหรือ แหม...หมออดทำให้เลยวันนี้กลับบ้านเริ่มถูสบู่ที่น้องได้แล้วนะครับ ดีเลยครับ เย็นนั้นผมก็จัดการตามสั่งเลยครับแล้วเอาน้องมาแช่น้ำอุ่นเพื่อให้ไหมละลาย เสร็จแล้วก็จัดการกับไหมส่วนที่เหลืออยู่กว่าจะหายเจ็บเล่นกันตั้ง 12 วันแน่ะ พอหมดไหมแล้วก็ใช้แม่นางทั้งสองเลยครับ สบายตัวเลย

ช่วงนี้ยังเดินไปไหมมาไหนยังไม่ค่อยสะดวกเท่าไรนัก พอไปได้ 18 วัน เดินได้เหมือนปรกติแล้ว

ตอนนี้ผ่านมาได้ เดือนหนึ่งแล้วครับ น้องดูดีมากขึ้นเยอะเลยครับแข็งเหมือนในหนังโป้ แล้วใหญ่ขึ้นด้วยชอบเลย นี่แค่กำลังรอเจอแฟนเพื่อทดสอบการ

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